Emotionally Compromised to Paying All Costs

Following up after my ""Cost of Losing Friendship by Saving a Life" vs "Cost Of Their Life by Saving a Life"" post,  I have decided not to weigh what is more important than the other for a couple reasons due to the fact my friendship with this person(A), and my emotional feelings towards this person(A) have been compromised and thought it best to sacrifice and pay the cost of losing my friendship, and not saving this persons(A) life. It was just yesterday(May 2nd 2018) that I had to once again witness this person(A) going back to the same person(B) who have been manipulative, and abusive for this persons(B) own selfish gain, while I thought to myself of how much I have worked so hard to help, advise, and encourage (A) for these past few years. And no matter what I did or said to (A) I finally woke up to the realization of how miserably I have failed (A).


In many ways this situation between person(A) and (B) was never my business. Its really none of my business, but it became my business when I first started seeing evidence of physical bruises and suspicious marks on person(A) and as time went by it became more frequent. It really became my business when person(A) came to my house with a freshly beaten face. It should have been my duty to report and immediately contact person(A)'s family, but unfortunately I had sworn to silence by request of person(A). During that time when I saw the evidence of abuse it was still early in their relationship and mistakenly I trusted that (A) would find a way to deal with it in its own way and that hopefully person(B) would learn from those mistakes. I was wrong as it continued to worsen. Let me first state that I have lived my whole childhood life with a father who was an alcoholic, drug addict and a man who beat me, abused me, and emotionally broke me. Even witnessing countless of times, him beating my mother and my younger brother while I mostly stood on the sideline. Because of this personal horrifying experience and memories I have become utterly frustrated and heartbroken for person(A). And for the longest time I tried once again from the SIDELINE what I could possibly do, to help person(A) realize of how serious and tragic this may be for this person's(A) life and future. And what its already doing to (A)'s character, psychological state, and well being. Cause I have seen (A) progressively change for the worse as each day, week, and month went by. It even gotten to the point that (A) began to defend (B)'s action and made excuses of why person(A) couldn't leave or want to leave the relationship with person(B). (A) has been so twisted up by (B)'s manipulation that there was no getting through to (A)'s head as of late. And in every moment of those times, I unfortunately gave up and failed in helping (A). For this reason of having the record of giving up I had to pay the cost of being a coward and giving up entirely.
Second, If I was to gather up all the things that I have said to person(A) it quite literally would've been a short self help book. I recently told (A) that I have been doing all I can to keep (A) from bleeding out. Yet (A) continued to return to the very thing that cut, stabbed and damaged (A). And I just don't have the energy anymore to keep (A) from being destroyed by person(B). I have become exhausted from seeing and hearing person(A) getting tortured mentally and emotionally. It has been hard to watch. It has also become very offensive and personal. Cause of how much energy and time that I put into (A), and it feels like (A) ignores, and practically tosses everything that I have do and have said and done right out the window. It really feels like that.  I'm offended that (A) doesn't take consideration of what I have done thus far. Especially the effort coming from a person as myself who is broken and depressed in my own way and life. And it hurts to think that I a good friend and only person that knows all that (A)'s been going through would be important enough to trust and taking all my advice with consideration. But (A) continues to go back to (B) and restarting the same ole cycle all over again bringing me to pay the cost of being what it seemed to be "close friendship" to person(A).