Winter Garden: No Longer Feeling at Home

The hardest thing for me is finding love in something or anything that always eventually becomes the very thing that breaks my heart after devoting and investing so much on. I've been hurt, betrayed, and failed in so many of those "loves" that I have learned to harden my heart and walk away to avoid any more pain and heartbreak. For the past few weeks I have been having second thoughts and doubts of living here in Winter Garden. Before moving to this area 6yrs ago, the original plan was finding my own place, under my own name, and a place where I can start a new life. But unfortunately at that time I was unofficially "unemployed." I wasn't jobless, just jobless on paper which meant no bank loans or any collateral exchange of purchasing a home. So in short our home here in Winter Garden has been purchased and signed under my brothers name for the time being. It was this place that I chose, It was this place where I put down a chunk of the down payment along with the help from my mother. Its in this place where most of everything that's in it has been purchased by me, to make THIS place my "home," a future "family home of my own" and my brother for the time being my roommate. It was a perfect location for many reasons from FKPCO(which was perfectly still close by), knowing that Winter Garden was on the rise and booming, great neighborhood, not in a ghetto, decent schooling area, clean, and to being farther away from the people and places where and in whom I've had terrible and depressing memories with. It was perfect, and I fell in love living here in the outskirt of Orlando. A new fresh life from Orlando, yet still at home in Orlando.


But since then this home has become a place of hurt and a fresh life of more heartbreak and frustration. When first coming here my relationship with Anna ended. A year later my Dog "Ttori" became sick and had to be put down. The air-condition in this place since we moved in have been breaking down so maaany times which I cant tell you how much money I've spent repairing and replacing the units...and now at this very moment I sit in my room cooling myself off with a window installed AC unit in a home with a dead AC central system for almost a year. After that I got into a cursed relationship with a Korean girl who moved to Orlando from Germany ending with her cheating on me and leaving me with a horrendous broken heart and a bad taste of this place which I call "home."  My brother which I will not get into detail here in this post went through a dark and bad time here affecting me and ultimately with the whole family which then affected me in living in a "home" that I only felt depression and sorrow in. I quit my position and membership at FKPCO. The prick neighbor next to us hates us. Failed another relationship while living here, and cutting myself off from (A).