Side Effects

A day like today Sunday, gets me thinking about the days and many years invested on youth, and friends that I have tried to aide, help, pray, and emotionally support during most of the time when I myself deeply needed someone to help as I fought back the darkness and depression that I carried so deep inside of myself. I realized the more and more I helped, the more and more I got worse. What they didn't know was a man crying for help. I've always been a sensitive man. An anxious man with social anxiety of my own and for many years I ignored that weakness within just to give others a chance and a person in their life that would be there for them as they fought their own life issues, loneliness, depressions, spiritual and emotional battles. For a person like myself who had a life long of the same battles, understands the inner cries and pain that they carry. For little more 10yrs of my life I've done all I could. And just like this beautiful animation depicts by Eleonora Stella, absolutely shows how I left my 10yrs of duty, completely lost and heartbroken. And yes I once did have a dog that I loved so much of my own whom I've lost during my years helping others. I had no outlet, no one, no place to go to for help other than walking back into my life in the shadows. The side effects in help others is truly real and not a joke. I have learned to embrace the lifestyle of being alone and finding my own way on making myself better first before helping others again.

I do need to get another pooch soon.